my messy room

ok my room looks like a war zone. Its not supposed to be like that. It has been prim and proper for a long long time. But now its like a nuclear bomb exploded in my room! there all kinds or weird stuff lying all around! oh god. I shall have to clear it by the weekend...

some mindless rambling. On sharing and helping

well, a friend came and looked for me for some... erm... last minute GP advice. so i gladly extended my help to
1. kill my boredom,
2. make myself feel clever (actually, i AM clever. lol),
3. well, its great to help pple!

coming to point no. 3. well at sometime(s) this year, certain events happened. And I really felt like there was perhaps something wrong in what I believed in, the principles I adhered to, or the stuff teachers taught in school. I mean, seriously. At these times I really wondered what went wrong. Initially, I came to the erroneous judgment that its all everyone else's fault. While I didn't tell myself that aloud, deep down within the recesses of my heart, I knew it. I thought that. And it was like a spoilt Gramophone Record that just went on and on on its recurring theme, eventually letting me feel it is correct. The gospel truth.

But sometime recently I gained a new perspective on this issue. No it was just a sudden spark of brilliance. I didn't sit under a bodhi tree (or any tree, for that matter) and gain enlightenment. I was just browsing some self-improvement-books-that-losers-read (Im not one, thats for sure :p) and it suddenly dawned on me that perhaps if everyone else was to blame, then the No. 2 person to blame was really myself.

It was my own fault for not having been firm, and put one foot down and state clearly the boundaries of what constituted kindness and what constituted pure dumbness. Its not wrong to help others. In fact, it should be encouraged. But when taken to its extremities, it easily rears an ugly head (or heads) and becomes a classic case of becoming taken advantage of. And that got me into loads of trouble, worries, undue stress. Which was the reason that led me into a state of, well, near-depression. And it generated a sense of decreasing self-worth and, eventually, self-competence as well.

I guess I've finally come to terms with it. And only now can I slowly crawl out of this lingering shadow. It still casts a shadow over me now. i haven't come to terms with my inner monster completely. Yet.

But Time shall tell. so the next time someone asks for help, I think I'll know better what to do. I hope.

Cheers,

update

So I continued to slack on this nice, stress-free Sat. Well, actually, it was until after dinner. i was suddenly overcome-d by a compulsion to look at some uni stuff. so i went to the very user friendly NUS website and the more stuff i read the more frightened I was. so i guess what they say about ns is true... you probably find it hard to adapt back to the school!

On the bright side, there were only 3 potential buyers for 'my' apartments! now that's fantastic. and these 3 people found my number through the Internet listings, so thats good. It means the sotong guy DIDN'T post my number on the papers again. phew.

i wonder what cca i should join in uni. in the first place, is there a point joining? hmmmmm...

The Happiness Formula

In tandem with my drive to write more upbeat stuff, I decided to write about something I came across today:

The Happiness Formula:
Happiness = Health + Money + Social Life + Meaning
= (Sleep + Diet + Exercise) + (Cash + Stuff + Assets) + (Family + Friends) + (self-actualisation --> self-transcendence)

[In case I infringe copyrights, here's where I lifted the tidbit - http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/03/25/more-on-goals-and-the-meaning-of-life/)

Actually I think its really very relevant to all of us. Out of the 10 items in the simplified formula, how many can you really say are being religiously followed by you? For myself, sleep isn't much of a problem - now - so is diet, exercise is a wee bit problem, cash is a BIG problem (lol), much of my 'stuff' are not really mine, I have little in 'assets', not a big fan of my family, getting a little distant with 'friends' but i hope that will be improved with ORD (whee!). I'm far far away from seeking meaning in life. So I guess I score somewhere around 4 - 5 points out of 10! Oh man, now that makes me really sad (ironically, its called the happiness formula). How about you people out there?

p.s. the blog is quite interesting. too bad there's no SG version. It will sound more close to heart (and convincing too).

the torture continues

ok my phone's still ringing. and I think there are new enquiries on some estate in Kallang and Whampoa. Oh god. And my, I'm getting so used to rotting at home. how unproductive and addictive.

sorting out my wardrobe

First of all, my phone is still ringing after 5 days. Oh god. What did I do in my last life to warrant such divine punishment?!

About the most interesting thing that happened today is sorting out my wardrobe, coz its exploding. Funny thing is, I rarely go out. i wonder where all the clothes came from. I think I should pasar malam them to earn some much-needed $.

And lastly, to the 32/04 pple out there, I think some of us are thinking about organising a get-together session some time in Dec after all that ORD-ing and EXAM-ing. perhaps we'll have a bbq loh. But NOT at East Coast. Good heavens! With everyone living mostly in the West, North and Central, I wonder who was the smart alec who organised it at East Coast last year. hey stop giving me that look! i don't think its me... then again... In any case, maybe we can do it in Yew Tee! Its an excellent place. Mid point for West and Central people, eh! We can call bbqwholesale too, which means minimal work. And we can always da-pao to Sharon's house to eat if we run out of food (which I doubt) or to cook if it rains. Give some suggestions! And yes Yew tee is NOT somewhere in Siberia. It is accessible via our efficient transport network.

p.s. ok maybe I shld point out that I live in Yew tee too lol

the hundredth post.

did i spell 'hundredth' correctly?

ok that doesn't matter. there's a more important issue at hand. I don't usually like to eat up my own words, but being so honest (see? another virtue):

"a busy week

whoever invented the Internet is fantastic. did he get a Nobel prize?

Posted by ej at 10/19/2007 09:34:00 PM"

ok now i regretted saying that. you know why?
due to the advent of the Internet, and recently this mocca.com thing with the muscular hunk and all that babes advertisement website (ok i digress), it seems that property agent (who put my number up there) has happily posted the listings on the net too. and so if you do a Power Search, you would find MY handphone number up there too. Fantastic.

So I was asking whether I could sue that guy and demand compensation for making me mentally, psychologically, and physically (i need to pick up my phone umpteen times) tortured. I think its a good idea, coz then I wouldn't have to work until I go uni. muahahah. Anyway my mum told me not to count on it...

No, no, No, block out that last sentence. I meant to say that being so nice (again, as usual), I would put up with it. yeah.

and ya its my hundredth post!